“I guess it was bound to happen, wasn’t it?”

“Well, yes, but you could sense that coming a long way off, couldn’t you?”

“I had some indications, but I wasn’t certain…”

It drives me crazy to stand and examine a train wreck with a client, as if conducting a post-mortem. All because of missing initiative… and courage to take a step before taking one no longer matters. What’s frustrating is that they are so often avoidable. Sometimes all that’s missing is someone close who urges you to speak to the other player before things get worse.

You can feel the need for one of these critical talks, can’t you?

You’ve had an interaction with someone important that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Something essential got cross-threaded and you can feel that unworked-through element stuck in your craw.

Or, your world is serving up a dilemma. A tendency has manifested in a partner. Or maybe they’re on a new hobby horse, pursuing an objective that you’re pretty sure is wrong-headed. It’s a new flavor, a new jag; something they’ve picked up somewhere. They seem compelled to act upon it, to play it out. If you mention that thing to someone else, they say, “Whoa, that’s not gonna work…”

You can see where the situation is inevitably headed, and it’s not good. You know if you don’t head it off soon, it will come to full flower. And you’ll have a full-fledged mess on your hands. It won’t be pretty.

Those ‘spidey signals’ are potential life savers. Getting good at honoring those early indications and taking action is one skill that strong leaders have.

They don’t wait. They don’t stand by and let matters worsen until disaster ensues.

What action can you take? Are you concerned that these niggling worries are not substantial enough to warrant saying something? And are you wondering what to say, exactly?

Familiarity with the Resolution Protocol will give you the underpinnings you need. And those early indicators are your first signals from your internal RGS (Relationship Guidance System) that you’re off track with this person.

Go to the Fixing Fractures website and get a Preparation Worksheet. Assemble the evidence you have and corral your thoughts and feelings into shape. Then take that step…speak to that person you’re concerned about, and set up a talk. Not a casual throwaway. A real serious talk, one you’ve prepared for, so that it will have the maximum beneficial impact.

You’ll be glad you did.

Life is not a physics experiment. You don’t need to stand aside and watch a scenario unfold to an almost certain bad outcome. Don’t let that ‘almost certain’ steer you away. Respecting the autonomy or privacy of a close colleague is not a basis for letting something or someone you care about fall into a pit.

If you have those urges, those inklings that something is wrong and headed to a bad end, there’s usually a strong basis for them in substance. Act on them. And don’t let yourself be the future host of ongoing regret…

Head off that train wreck!

Can you help people in companies use Fixing Fractures – Restoring Shattered Relationships in Business and Life? Sure can. Deb testifies to the value.